Twentysomething

I overheard a young woman today talking today to another woman of retirement age. "Everyone says right now is the hardest decade," the young woman confided. "Your 20s. Your 20s are the hardest decade. Everything gets easier from there, people say."

I began my 20s as an undergraduate college student in Kansas. I was planning to attend law school and, on my journey of five different official majors, was majoring in history and psychology. I was married, but, beyond that life decision, lacked certainty about the future. Time seemed vast and limitless, endless options poised within my grasp.

I ended my 20s by graduating with a PhD in accounting, celebrating my 11th wedding anniversary, living in Florida, and as the mom of two beautiful children. My future trajectory seemed decided - I would interview across the country for tenure-track accounting professor jobs, find a place where my husband could work, and settle down with a single-minded focus on making tenure and taking care of my family.

In no other decade of my life did I change so much, grow so much, live so many new experiences, try on new options, and, ultimately, discover who I was. In my 20s, I learned I loved being a mom. When I first got married, I was convinced that children were in the far distant future, but as college graduation approached and life became less tumultuous, I became obsessed with the idea of having a baby. I had my daughter when I was 24 years old and working as a tax accountant at a CPA firm and I was instantly smitten. I had my son when I was 28 years old and a full-time accounting PhD student and my entire family felt complete. In my 20s, I learned how to grow from a couple into a family.

I learned I loved accounting. It seems laughable now, but I really did not enjoy my early accounting classes. I felt they lacked rigor, ignored critical thinking, and were little more than glorified bookkeeping. I was so wrong. I took a taxation course when I was 20 years old that changed my life. Instead of drifting along with the nebulous goal of going to law school someday, I became focused on pursuing a career in taxation and ultimately a transition to academia. I had barely heard of accounting when I entered my twenties, and I could hardly imagine a life without it when I exited.

I learned I was stronger than I thought. I learned I could hold a job that required interacting with clients in a professional capacity and I was not terrible. I learned I could chuck it all to go back to graduate school one day. I learned I could resign from a job to be a full-time mom and then decide that was not my calling, either. I learned I was capable, flexible, resilient.

I am not sure if my 20s were my hardest decade, but they were my most formative, most memorable, most impactful. And that is worth something.