My daughter would be the first to agree she is not naturally flexible or adaptable. She has certain foods she prefers to eat. Transitions are challenging. New experiences are overwhelming. Not knowing what to expect is terrifying.
One mantra our family has developed: "Flexible and adaptable." You don't want to eat the spicy chicken curry we've prepared for dinner? Flexible and adaptable. The obstacle course is overwhelming after injuring your knee? Flexible and adaptable. You aren't sure what you want to do with the rest of your life and it is scary not to have everything planned out already? Flexible and adaptable.
What has surprised me, though, about this mantra, is how often it applies to ME. As an adult, I have control over my daily schedule, the foods I eat, the activities I take part in, my life choices I have made. I don't enjoy the taste of iced tea? I don't have to drink it when served. I don't feel comfortable swimming in open water? I don't have to sign up for any triathlons. I don't want to play video games with my family? No one is forcing me to do so. I am constantly harping on my daughter to be flexible and adaptable while often being rather inflexible myself.
As with everything in life, there is a balance. It's good to be flexible and adaptable - but it is also valuable to have autonomy, a voice, independence. It's good to try new things - but it is okay to not join activities proven to be a poor fit. It's good to spread our wings - but it is important to honor the inner voice inside us. Finding where this balance lies is a life-long endeavor.
And as for my family, I'll nudge my daughter to keep trying foods outside her comfort zone, to give new experiences a chance, to push herself in uncharted waters. And I'll challenge myself to take more risks, try new activities, mix things up. But we will also honor routines that give structure and security to life. Because life is all about balance.
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