On Sickness

I am in my 16th year of parenting. Part of the gig includes taking care of sick kids. This is something I find stressful for many reasons. I hate seeing my kids sick, hate seeing them miserable, hate worrying about complications, hate my lack of medical knowledge and my poor nursing skills. But I find sick kids stressful for another reason - as a family with two full-time out-of-the-house working parents, sick kids can be hard to juggle. 

I found this short blog entry from 11 years ago in Florida, when Daniel was a baby: 

"This has been the Semester of Sickness. On Friday, Daniel's daycare called that he was running a fever --> he is *still* sick today and we'll need to split the day again tomorrow. What do people do that don't have flexible schedules? Between the number of days we've missed with our kids' illnesses, I think we would both have been fired this semester."

Then from 7 years ago, I found this post from the year Daniel started preschool:

"Moms of preschoolers, how often do your kids get sick? I feel like Daniel is sick all.the.time this semester. The last month it's been strep throat, strep again, random virus, pink eye, bronchitis, and woke up today with a high fever and "it hurts to cough." We are taking him to urgent care today and will call our dr's office Monday, but is this normal?? Or par for the course for daycare? Thanks for letting me vent."

My kids are older now. And yet, with my 11-year-old sick with strep throat that is not improving and in a house where workers are constantly in and out with renovations, I cannot leave him home alone. Taking care of a sick 11-year-old is much easier than a sick toddler, but I feel like sickness levels the playing field in some ways. Advancements in independence and autonomy are seemingly wiped out overnight. I am still disappointing students at work when I am not available to meet in person at work today. My work productivity still suffers. I feel like a new mom in some ways, inexperienced and unsure. 

Will and I have an extreme amount of privilege in our jobs. Outside of our teaching times, we are very flexible. I am thankful every time our children are sick we are able to take care of them so easily. My heart breaks for those who must make real sacrifices and hard choices in the face of illness. 

So today, I am trying to soak it all in. Soak in my tween boy whose glassy eyes today revert him back to a younger preschooler. Soak in the rich blessings that my children are healthy and illnesses are rarer than health. Soak in the privilege of holding a job I love that does not fire me when I work from home when my children are ill. Soak in the care-giving role that will not last forever. 

Cheers to all parents tonight, with healthy and sick kids alike, doing the best they can.