10 Things I've Learned on my Summer Vacation

This has been a crazy busy summer - we have gone to Disney, bought a new house, moved, closed on our old house, shuttled the kids to a million activities, and have attempted to split childcare just within our family. To say that I have learned a lot would be an understatement. Things that I have learned include....

10. Having a Pool is Joyful

I never would have considered myself a "pool person" a few years ago, but have found that I LOVE owning a pool. I especially love having people over for pool parties and have found that it truly is the more, the merrier. That alone has been worth all of the hassle of moving.

9. How to Patch Drywall 

Okay, I haven't learned this exactly so much as watched Will and attempted to pick up bits of knowledge. Four days after buying our house, water started pouring from the ceiling in our entryway. It turned out that we needed to replace the HVAC system, and undertake some more repairs on top of that, and eventually the water stopped pouring out, hurrah! Will did an awesome job of patching our ceiling and I hope that I have absorbed at least something. ;)

8. Home Warranties are Good 

We did not have a home warranty on our new house, a situation that seemed particularly unfortunate once we realized that the HVAC system needed to be replaced. ;)

7. Kids May Love Creeks More Than Pools

Our kids love our pool, but they really love the creek in our backyard. Deer jawbones! Leeches! Snakes! Poison ivy! What's not to love?!?

6. Having Another Adult is Magical 

My cousin, Jeremy, stayed with us last summer and had another job in the area this summer, too. Having another adult around is heaven - and not to mention that Jeremy has been invaluable in helping with the kids and in making home repairs like patching drywall.

5. Full-Time Work Requires Full-Time Childcare

This is a tough one for me to write. Before the summer started, Will and I thought it would be nice to spend more time with the kids over the summer. I am not officially under contract in the summer and thought it would work to split the days with each other, with Will or I sharing the driving to all of the various camps and activities they were signed up for. I am ashamed to say that this arrangement has made me a wreck. I have gotten so much less done at work than I envisioned, have been distracted when I actually am with the kids, and seem to be worrying about home or work whenever I am at the other place to the point that it is hard to concentrate. Next summer, I have decided that we will need to hire a sitter so that I don't have a nervous breakdown over my lack of productivity at work. It has been a really excellent reminder that I Can't Do It All.

4. Going from Two Houses to One is Awesome!

We have been under contract on the sale of our old house since early May, but did not officially close until last week. It was nice to have some overlap on the houses since that made moving less of a pain, but few things are as joyful than officially closing on the other place. The old house served us very well for 5 years and I hope it does for the new owners, too.

3. Our Kids Love Plays

This is more of a re-discovery since I figured that out last summer, too. Our kids do not like singing in choirs but love being in the chorus of a play and having a part. Being part of the cast of Mary Poppins was a highlight for both of them this summer. Who knew?!

2. Reading Suffers when I am Busy 

I have read 17 books this year, but since June have read....zero books. This should be a no-brainer but took me by surprise.

1. Our Friends and Family are Wonderful 

Okay, I already knew they were wonderful, but did not know just how wonderful. Between the moving and unpacking help, the friendly shoulder on which to vent, or even cleaning our outdoor bathroom, our friends and family alike have been generous, giving, helpful, cheerful, and always there for us. We love you all and are so grateful you are in our lives.

My Kids Will Never And Yet They Did

I was a really excellent mom before I had children, and had so many ideas about what our imaginary hypothetical children would never, ever do. And even after I became a parent, I naively continued to harbor ideas of what would "never" happen with my kids. I therefore present 10 (non-inclusive) examples of things I said My Kids Will Never Do and Yet They Did. 

10. Throw in a Tantrum in a Store 

I remember being newly pregnant with my daughter and seeing a two-year-old screaming in a store, and smugly thinking that my child would "never "do that, because I clearly I would talk and reason with them and they would instantly understand there was no need to scream and never do it again. Yes. I was clearly delusional. 

9. Quit in the Middle of an Activity 

One of the many supposed advantages of organized activities for children is that it encourages them to learn perseverance and to stick with things when the going gets tough. Clearly, quitting in the middle of an activity undermines the whole point. But when your kindergarten daughter decides in the middle of the year that she hates dance and decides to sit in the corner and watch the entire time instead . . . well, you could quit and buy Disney World season passes for the whole family with the money that you saved from quitting dance. Hypothetically speaking. 

8. Have a Child Who Doesn't Like to Read

Oh my goodness, this is my current dose of humility. Both of our children have been read to since they were a fetus, exposed to books in all shapes and forms, snuggled up with and read to at night for years, and still . . . I have one child who loves to read, and one child who despises it. I do not know why. But that all of my theories about how to ensure that a child will love being an independent reader have been proven wrong. ;) 

7. Live in an Apartment 

My husband and I bought a house in the Kansas City area right before I was pregnant with our daughter. This was very important because I would never, ever, ever rent (the horror!) an apartment with a hypothetical child. In fact, we were never going to ever sell our house in Kansas City, so we locked in a 30-year mortgage rate rather than a much cheaper 5-year ARM (this is back when ARMs were still sexy). Less than two years later, we sold the house....to go live in an apartment. With our child. In Florida.

6. Go to Daycare as a Baby

After my daughter was born, I suddenly developed strong opinions on child-rearing and sort of fell into the "Attachment Parenting Light" camp. It was super important to me that I as the mom be at home. And yet, one year later, my daughter went from always having been with either me or a grandparent, to being in full-time daycare in Florida. And when our son was born, he started full-time daycare at the ripe old age of 4 months.

5. Have a Sibling More Than 2 Years Apart 

My sister  and I are really close and I always wished we could have been closer together grade-wise in school (we were 3 years apart most of our time in school but were only 2 years apart after she skipped a grade into high school). I had the great plan that our kids would be no more than 2 years apart so that they would be guaranteed to be Best Buds. Both my husband and I starting a PhD program kind of put a crimp into that plan. ;) The good news is that our children are 4 years apart and opposite genders, and still seem to get along well at least some of the time. 

4. Drink Formula 

I was kind of ambivalent about breastfeeding or formula feeding before my daughter was born, but quickly discovered that I absolutely love breastfeeding. So much so that it makes me kind of crazy. (One time, I was late coming home, and my daughter was hungry and screaming, but I was adamant to my husband that she not have formula while he waited. That kind of crazy.) So clearly a dose of reality was in order - which came when my son was born and he could not nurse for close to 24 hours, and drank formula in the hospital. And as it turns out, this is 110% okay. 

3. Wean a Child

My daughter decided to stop nursing at 20 months, and it was such a gradual process that it took me a couple of weeks to eventually realize that she had given up nursing. My son, on the other hand, was still going strong at 2 years old and seemed to be nursing with more frequency as he got older. I decided that maybe it wasn't time for him to wean, but it was time for me. And that was also okay. 

2. Eat Separate Meals 

This encompasses all of the sins of modern parenting. Laziness! Poor eating habits! Crappy parenting! My husband and I have eaten kale chips, salad, and flax seed this week. The kids have . . . not. For a mom like me who was so crazy obsessed with breastfeeding, the irony is thick. 

1. Never Say Never!

I truly think that parenting has been one of the most humbling and grounding experiences for me as a person, ever. And yet I still find myself with "never" statements floating through my head at times - particularly those involving the teenage or adult years, before I realize that this is ridiculous because who knows what the future can hold. So if I have learned anything through parenting, it is that Never Say Never should truly be a motto that is tattooed upon every surface. 

What areas of parenting or life have you claimed that you would "never" do something?

In the Good Old Summertime

We are smack in the middle of the summer here, and things have been crazy. Will and I are attempting to share childcare and juggle activities and camps for our children, with mixed success. However, when I reflect on my own childhood, I am very happy that our children have had more downtime this summer. Summer is only a quarter of the year but it seems like that is when so many childhood memories are made.

For my own childhood, my sister Julie and I were home alone over the summer starting after 6th grade (me) and 3rd grade (her). My dad was home later, after 9th grade when he left his job as a Boeing engineer to start teaching high school math, but even at that point we had pretty much free rein to entertain ourselves (although this did cut down on the whole buying and eating an entire box of Teddy Grahams in one sitting business). Some of the many adventures that we had over the summer include . . .

10. Commercials on the Deck

Some kids entertain each other with watching TV. But when your parents have a "YTVREAD" personalized license plate, television-watching is pretty out of the question. So instead, Julie and I would make up and act out "commercials" on the back deck of our house. And of course, our preferred imaginary brand was "Book Brands," as in, "Book Brands . . . They're Stepping Into Style!" Because we were so cool.


9. Running with Julie . . . to Winchell's Donuts

Julie and I would often go on a 4-mile running route together. This was a 2-mile out-and-back to, of course, Winchell's Donuts. We would then buy giant apple fritters, eat then, and attempt to run home, usually in pain at this point. We somehow never made the connection between being in pain and stuffing ourselves with apple fritters, and this continued to be a multiple-times-a-week occurrence.


8. Fashion Shows

This was in early high school with my best friend Jennifer and usually took place at her house, because she had much cooler clothes than I did (see #10). We would try on different clothes and take pictures of each other with different "looks," such as this ultra-cool baggy Beethoven shirt. And, as you can see above, this was very often interspersed with eating dessert.


7. Photo Scavenger Hunt

Julie, Dad, and I would drive all over town some days and take photographs. This was back when photographs took days to develop on film, so it really was quite novel to us to "waste" whole rolls of film just for fun. This is one of our "action shots" above that Julie took of me in 8th grade, and required dexterous action on her part since I could only keep the hula hoop up for about 0.3 seconds.


6. Summer Reading Club 

Oh, the summer reading club! Julie and I were diligent participants in this program for as long as I can remember, and as soon as each of us were 12 years old, we were regular volunteers at the public library to help run the program. I loved every minute of my four years there and was convinced for a long time that I was going to be a librarian someday. (I could not find any pictures of us reading, but did find a "memory card" that my Mom made during high school graduation.)


5. Playing the Piano

Oh, the piano. I took piano lessons all through the end of high school from the beloved Mrs. Nida (pictured above) and had a recital between my junior and senior years with songs that I could not even read the music for now, let alone play. That I have let my playing slip so far is one of my deepest regrets.


4. Learning Hair Styles 

Okay, this was mainly Julie, because I am hopeless. See how Julie is patiently fixing my hair and I look like I am being tortured? I think this describes all of our hair-styling interactions.


3. Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies (and eating the dough)

Our parents would never purchase cookies, but were always open to us baking them. Consequently, we spent many summer mornings making chocolate chip cookies, where we would end up probably eating at least half of the dough. I could not find any documentation of this, but did find a photo of my mom after winning a Cake Walk one time, which is almost the same thing.


2. Swimming

What is funny is that Julie and I never went swimming as much as we could have. One year, our family had a pool membership to a lovely neighborhood pool, and I think that Julie and I only went eight times one summer. But we COULD whenever we could - and that was magical. And don't we look super cool as we get to go swimming in the ocean here??


1. THE FARM 

Oh, the farm. My grandparents passed away when I was 8 and 10 years old, and the farm where they lived was kept up after that by my aunts and uncles. We would often go out to explore the 100 acres in the country with our cousins with almost no adult supervision. So many pictures and memories. So much outside time. So many adventures. So much fun with cousins and family. The combination of family and outside and complete freedom to explore - there is truly nothing like it.

What memories do you have of your childhood summertime?? 

Confessions of a Non-Sports Mom

This is a post that has been brewing around in my head for quite a while, but for which I have hesitated to write down because I am unsure how well my fragmented thoughts would translate into paper. 

I am not a Sports Mom. I do not spend my summers at the ballpark, my weekends at the soccer field, or my evenings shuttling around the kids to sports practices. And as with so many aspects of parenting, I have very mixed feelings on this, such as:

10. I did not imagine this pre-kids. Before we had children, my husband and I had many opinions on the best way to raise them. One of the things we agreed on was the importance of exposing our as-yet-non-existent children to sports - you learn teamwork! And goal-setting! And lifetime fitness habits! And did I mention teamwork! We figured we would spend more energy reining in our kids' desires than in trying to find something, anything, that was a physical activity that they enjoyed.

9. It isn't for lack of trying. Between the two of them, our children have been exposed to a parade of organized extracurricular physical activities, including gymnastics, ballet, tap dance, t-ball, softball, soccer, martial arts, horseback riding, running club, cross country, swimming lessons, and basketball.

8. Our kids have really only enjoyed two organized physical activities: swimming lessons and basketball - which is fantastic given that we own a pool, and that they have found a winter sport (basketball) that they enjoy when it is hard to get other kinds of physical activity. But both of these are ones that they enjoy much more in a recreational than in an organized environment.

7. Most physical activity is through family activities. In addition to swimming and basketball, our kids also enjoy family bike rides, and get dragged along on many hikes (and sometimes runs), but again, most of their physical activities are through activities that we do as a family, rather than organized events.

6. I worry about our kids being ostracized for not enjoying most sports. This is a completely ridiculous thing to admit, but I worry that because our kids do not enjoy playing or following or watching or learning most sports, that it will be harder for them to make a connection with peers. And I especially worry about this with our son, which is totally gender-biased, but a worry that is what it is.

5. I worry about lifetime fitness habits with our kids. Particularly as my daughter approaches middle school and it becomes even harder to try new organized physical activities if you are not athletically inclined, I worry about our kids staying in shape when the organized activities that they enjoy doing the most (such as drawing) are not fitness-oriented.

4. I enjoy having time together as a family. I love going to church together as a family every Sunday. I love the ability to have an impromptu family game night in the evening. I love that my husband and I can throw ourselves into volunteering at church or school or 4-H without worrying about how sports schedules will interfere.

3. I enjoy avoiding "sports politics." Parks and Rec? Wildcat League? One of the three soccer clubs in our small town? It's all moot to me!

2. I still sometimes find myself jealous of other kids' love of sports. This is very hard to admit. We drive by ball fields at night and I find myself wistful of other kids out there enjoying the game. I see kids lighting up with joy during dance recitals or soccer matches and I find myself wondering, "What If?" I think this kind of jealousy or Keeping Up With The Joneses or whatever you call it is terrible and toxic and does no one one single bit of good. But I would be lying if I said that I never felt these emotions at times.

1. I wouldn't trade any of this for watching my own kids' interests explode. Our children light up joy with so many things. They both love to draw. They love to build with Legos. They love doing science experiments and going to museums and watching documentaries. They love to go fishing. They love imaginative play and fantasy worlds. They love biking and swimming - albeit not in an organized environment. And I love them to the depths of my soul and wouldn't trade any of that for the world.

Fourth of July Weekend

Happy 4th of July weekend!! We had a wonderful time with family and friends and hope that you did, too. 

Because everyone knows that the weekend begins on Thursday night . . . on Thursday evening, we finally headed out to Tuttle Creek to see the tubes. This is where they release water from the dam, and it was flowing with full force. 

We all got soaked at the end!

We also headed up to Bluemont Hill to check out the Manhattan letters. Daniel has been asking to do this for quite a while and enjoyed getting to stand on some of the letters.

On Friday, K-State was shut down, so we took advantage of the opportunity to enjoy a visit with my parents. It was the 45th anniversary of my parents' first date! Greg was a very cute photo bomber.

Grandma, Grandpa, grandkids . . . and Julie. ;)

We of course continued our tradition of heading to Radina's Coffee House as a family that afternoon.

I have absolutely no memory of what we did Friday night. I think we assembled shelves? Or unpacked boxes? It is all lost. Perhaps I feel asleep on the couch early in the evening, as I have been doing a lot of recently. ;)

Saturday morning was 4th of July!! For the fifth year in a row, we celebrated by running a road race in Junction City, the Freedom Run 5k. Only this year, my very dear friend Melendra joined in, too! It was her first road race after only two years of me bugging her. ;) It was so much fun. I was worried how I would do since I had not run much during June between vacation, injuring my toe, and moving - but it all went well. We finished in 32:05, which makes it the fastest I have ever run on that course by a whopping 9 seconds.

Will was 2nd in his age group!! He was worried also since the move has really gotten us out of our running routine, so was happy to finish in 22:40. And Julie rocked it - 19:15, second overall female, and received the prize money for 1st place since that person was an NCAA athlete. ;)

That afternoon, we went on a family back ride to Subway for lunch.

And that afternoon and evening, we had a super fun 4th of July Party at our house!! We had 10 other families over and had such a blast. We want to make it an annual tradition. First up was lots and lots of swimming among the younger set.

Enjoying one of the many flotation rings left over from VBS decorations.

Jumping in!

Definitely no shortage of flotation devices. ;)

Penny and Bryn!

 The spread, along with some of the adults in our kitchen. We had almost no food left over so hopefully everyone got enough to eat!

Jen and Brynn!

After swimming and eating fun, it was time for fireworks fun in the evening. There's nothing like a large group of adults and children combined with fire for a memorable time.

Smoke bombs!

Setting off more explosives. I think we started around 7:30 p.m. and didn't finish until after 10 p.m.? There was definitely no shortage of fireworks to be had.

"The bucket" for the really big ones.

Finally nighttime after 9 p.m. and time for sparklers.

Happy 4th of July!

Sunday we deemed to be "Make Up Father's Day," since we were so busy two weeks ago that we did not have much of a chance to celebrate. We kicked things off in the morning by everyone sleeping in and Will cleaning up the cul-de-sac from the night before, which may not have been in the true spirit of the make-up holiday. ;) Then at church, it was the first Sunday for our new pastor - we thought he did a nice job preaching, and there was a reception after church to welcome him.

After eating lunch with church friends at Pizza Hut, we headed over to see Inside Out!! This was a very sweet movie that made 3 out of the 4 of us (read: all but Daniel) teary-eyed at some point.

Will took the kids fishing later that afternoon, and then that evening, we headed out with a small group of friends to celebrate our dear friend Amy's 40th birthday a few days early. We had a private room all to ourselves and enjoyed delicious food, beer, women's soccer action, and companionship.  Happy Birthday, dear Amy!!

And as a bonus - today is not the weekend, but Daniel passed into Station 3 in swim lessons this morning!! He has been working hard and has made a lot of improvement - and having a pool to practice in definitely hasn't hurt!

We hope that you had a wonderful 4th of July weekend, too!