2016 Reading Challenge: The First 10 Books

I did a reading challenge last year where I tried to diversify my reading selections, and it was very enjoyable. The website that produced the list last year put together a new challenge for 2016 (click here for list). I didn't fully complete the challenge in 2015, so hope to make even more progress this year in 2016! 

1. Wedding Night, by Sophie Kinsella (a book that takes place on an island) - Very light romantic comedy about one sister trying to stop the other from consummating her marriage to a rebound guy. I normally adore Sophie Kinsella, but this was not her strongest work. Still, I laughed out loud a bunch so that alone made it all worth it.

2. On Immunity: An Inoculation, by Eula Biss (a book you can finish in a day) - I checked out this short book after seeing it was one of the NYT's best non-fiction books of the year. The book is a series of essays that analyzes the cultural and societal factors surrounding immunization. The writing is beautiful, almost like poetry, although it sometimes feels disjointed. Recommended if this is an area of interest for you.

3. The Girl You Left Behind, by Jojo Moyes (a book set in Europe) - This is a two-part story - the first is on a French woman whose town is occupied by the Germans in World War I, and the second is in modern-day London concerning a painting of the French woman. I really liked the World War I story (it reminded me a lot of The Nightingale). I couldn't relate to the characters as much in the modern-day story. But still a really good read overall.

4. What I Had Before I Had You, by Sarah Cornwell (a book that takes place during Summer) - This novel on the surface is a story about a mom who loses her son on a trip to the beach, but it's really about three generations who suffer from bipolar disorder. One description that is really on point is that it is "part psychological thriller, part coming of age story." The writing is beautiful. I didn't necessarily like the characters but felt that I really understood and could empathize with them. And now I'm even more worried for my daughter to be 15. ;)

5. Between the World and Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates (a National Book Award winner) - This is written as a letter from the author to his 16-year-old son about what it is like to be a black male in America. It is focused more on narrative, personal stories, and experiences, and much less on statistics and data. Beautifully written language - and some sections that are really hard to read. Eye-opening and a book I will never forget.

6. Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy, by Alli Worthington (a book published in 2016) - This is a Christian book that focuses on life management - how to say "no" and "yes" to the right things. I've read a decent number of books in this genre and think this is the best one - fun, easy to read, very relatable, and lots of practical tips mixed in.

7. Generation Me, by Jean Twenge (a book recommended by someone you just met) - This is a book on the Millennial generation. The author came to speak at a teaching workshop at KSU, and I really enjoyed listening to her speak. I bought the book after the workshop. The book was all right, but I enjoyed listening to her speak more because her presentation focused on data - particularly, how attitudes and behaviors have trended over time. The data was mixed throughout the book but it was much more "padded" with opinions.

8. The Light Between Oceans, by M. L. Stedman (a book that's becoming a movie this year) - This novel takes place in post-World War I Australia, and focuses on a light house keeper and his young wife who find a shipwrecked baby and decide to adopt her as their own. I can't decide how I feel about the book. The writing is strong and it is very emotional (read: SUPER SAD), but I couldn't really relate to some of the characters. This is coming out as a movie in September, and I'll probably still try to see it, though.

9. Harriet Wolf's Seventh Book of Wonders, by Julianna Baggott (a book from the library) - This is our book club selection for the upcoming meeting. It is a very quirky novel about three generations of a family, centered around the matriarch, who was a famed author. The novel jumps around from different characters' perspectives and is told at different points in time. It reminded me in some farfetched way of the movie The Royal Tenenbaums. Recommended if you also like quirky characters. ;) 

10. When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi (an autobiography) -  I bought it on my Kindle when my plane landed a few hours ago today, and just devoured it. The book is a first-person account of a talented neurosurgeon resident who discovers he has Stage IV lung cancer (and who ultimately passes away - his wife wrote the epilogue). The writing is beautiful. Like Being Mortal, it also tackles the subjects of dying and what it means to live a good life, but is even more close and personal. Highly recommended.

Have a New Kid by Friday!

I've never read the book, but I've always been attracted by the title of the parenting book Have a New Kid by Friday. In my experience, most parenting changes that I've tried to implement seem to result in, "Have a New Kid in 1000 Days!" or "Have a New Kid, Never, Bahaha!!"

Well. I am here to tell you of an amazing parenting change that we have recently implemented: New Screen-Time Limits. When our 11-year-old was 7 years old, we still had very draconian screen limits in our family: No screen time at all on school nights, and only limited (but very much coveted) screen time on the weekends. Well. Now that our youngest is 7 years old, we seem to have incorporated more and more screen time, which is particularly a problem since said youngest likes to play Minecraft above all else. We finally realized what a problem this had become when our son was setting his alarm for 6 a.m. (about 1.5 hours earlier than he needed to get up) to play Minecraft. Oh my goodness.

I think our new rule is still very generous - up to an hour a day of screen time, but only after dinner and only after all homework, reading time, etc. is done. However, since we often have activities in the evening, this has resulted in basically no screen time the last few days. And you know what? It's only Thursday, but we already have a new kid! One who is about 1000 times more cheerful, positive, cooperative, well-rested, and generally pleasant to be around.

This is so obvious in hindsight that I can't believe it took me this long to realize that Screen Vacations may hold the key to happiness in children. At least they do in our family. ;)

Do you have any recent parenting tricks or successes?

On Being an Introverted Parent in an Extroverted World

A close friend and I were discussing what it's like being an introverted parent today. I've blogged about what it's like being an introvert before (see here), but I think that being an introvert as a parent presents some unique challenges and adventures. Such as:

7. Hiding in the Bathroom. Maybe I am the only one who does this, but sometimes when the kids were little I would shut myself in the bathroom just to have a few extra moments of quiet. It's not glamorous, but it's like a little slice of heaven.

6. Spending Time Alone in a Hotel Room is Like Heaven. Okay, this one is probably true of all parents (or probably all people!) but hey, I think that for introverts it is also like a special level of heaven to have all of this blissful silence enveloping you.

5. Having a More Extroverted Child is Challenging. Truthfully, everyone in our family is some level of an introvert, but one of our children is more extroverted than the rest of us. Having someone who needs so much more constant interaction than I do can be physically and emotionally exhausting.

4. Decompression Time is Needed After Groups of Kids. I love spending time with kids and helping out at church or at their schools, but I find that I am exhausted after even an hour of hanging out with large groups of kids and need a long time of just reading or playing on my phone to recharge. 

3. Reading Time is Magical. This is something that our family has recently implemented and I feel like it is saving my sanity. We have 30 minutes a day where everyone stops what they are doing and actually reads. I feel like I can catch my breath and feel my heart rejoicing in the glorious silence. 

2. I Worry About My Kids Being Socially Awkward. Perhaps this isn't due to introversion, but I have always felt somewhat socially awkward, and I worry about passing this on to my kids. I feel like I am not as good at teaching kids how to break out of their shell and engage with others in socially appropriate ways. Of course, I would also be worried about how to nurture a true extrovert, so I guess you can't win. ;)

1. It Really Gets Easier as Kids Age. I think that because my kids are older now and need less constant attention, I find it much easier to stay recharged now as a parent than when they were younger. Not that every age isn't magical and wonderful and special. But as an Introverted Parent in an Extroverted World, I find that when they sometimes crave alone time, too, that I can breathe a little easier as well. 

What about you? Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Why I'm Okay with Participation Medals

In recent years, the subject of participation medals/trophies/certificates for children's participation in sports seems to have gotten a lot of press, with a lot of articles written that are linking this phenomenon with a decline of certain values in society. I fully understand this viewpoint and respect those that hold it - and I want to offer a different opinion. I am okay and comfortable with participation medals for children's sports because:

5. Adults get them, too. If you register for a half marathon or anything longer (or in some cases, shorter - I've even seem for 5k races), you will receive a participation medal when you finish. This is usually referred to as "bling" and is available for all who finish the race, regardless of how slow or fast you finish. Races often market themselves on what style of medal is available (the biggest! the most unusual!) and I think it is safe to say that many adults love them, too. So it is not a phenomenon that is limited to children.

4. Showing up is important. Similar to a college class, in sports, participation is a necessary but not sufficient condition for success. It will in no way guarantee success by itself - but success is impossible without first showing up and putting in the work. And I am okay with drawing attention to that.

3. Not quitting is important. Finishing your commitment in sports is important because there are other people - your teammates - depending on you. I think there is a certain value in celebrating that you made a commitment and stuck to it for the duration of the season.

2. Children aren't easily misled. I think some of the concern over participation recognition is that children will think that everyone is an equal "winner" and not recognize actual performance. At least in my experience, children are acutely aware of who actually won the game and who lost. They know the score even when no score is officially kept. And it does not appear that recognizing participation draws away from also recognizing and celebrating excellence in performance.

1. If it gets someone to try something new, I'm okay with it. Truthfully, I think that 0% of kids try an activity because they might receive a ribbon or a medal or something in the end. But in my opinion, a strong purpose of exposing children to sports is so that they have fun and get exercise. If making that experience a more positive one by celebrating participation gets more kids to try again and participate next time (and have more fun and get more exercise!), then I am okay with it.

I realize that this is a controversial topic and not everyone will share this opinion. What do you all think?