The past 12 months have been rough. Several important people in our lives have died. Many others in the lives of others we care about have also passed away. Both of my children have fallen apart. I have had several fractures and have gained weight. I have not been as productive or successful at work as I had hoped. If I were to graph the trajectory of my life, the past year has been just about as difficult of a time I have ever faced.
What is shocking to me is I think I am doing okay. I will always struggle with depression and anxiety, but they seem to have been held at bay all year. I am not sure if having hard problems to face has helped calm the chaos in my mind, or if I am more willing to give myself grace when faced with this kind of year, or if the medication and therapy I have been using for years are better calibrated than in the past. But whatever the reason, I am happy I have been able to function and keep moving.
I write this to give you hope. If you, too, have mental health challenges - perhaps there will come a time when they are easier to carry. If you suffer from depression or anxiety today - perhaps you will find yourself stronger and more resilient than you imagined when faced with a difficult environment. If life is hard and messy and difficult - perhaps it will not always be that way. Perhaps there is hope.
Life is still hard. Deaths are hard to process. Our kids are in tender spaces. The daily minutia of life can be annoying, frustrating, crushing. But I have confidence I can continue to get through these times.
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