10 Things I've Learned about Parenting Teens and Young Adults

I am part of a very large online parenting group that provides support for fellow parents of teenagers and young adults. I have been on the site for about a year and have learned a great deal from fellow parents around the country. Obviously, these observations only apply to the group of people who are part of this group and may not be reflect the whole population. But I am passing on some of what I have noticed after reading posts off and on for about a year:

10. Tracking your kids’ phones on an app such as Life 360 is very common. I will admit I had never previously even heard of Life 360. It is an app that provides location-based services to members of a group, such as family members. This is not universal, but the use of Life 360 appears to be far more common than I had realized. Most of the time, it is not that parents do not trust their children, but that the app provides the parents greater peace of mind.

9. Direct-admit nursing programs are highly encouraged. Nursing is a highly competitive field. Some schools "direct admit" students directly from high school into a nursing program, whereas in others, students are pre-nursing majors and must apply as sophomores for a few slots in the program. Many parents with experience in this area highly encourage students who are deciding between schools to error on the side of a direct-admit program as the competition for slots later is often intense.

8. There is a glut of pharmacy programs/students and it is hard to find a job. I had believed pharmacy was a lucrative, rewarding career for people interested in the health care profession. That may have been the case 20 years ago, but from hearing from current pharmacists and those in the know, there is now a huge glut of pharmacy programs churning out pharmacists. In an era of slashing costs, there are also fewer pharmacy jobs available than in the past. I have read many pieces of advice from current pharmacists advising those interested in health care to consider careers in nursing or as a Physician Assistant instead. 

7. IKEA blue bags are highly encouraged for moving stuff into kids’ dorm rooms. This is a product I have never heard of - an "IKEA blue bag" - but it is a zipper storage bag capable of holding a great deal of items. They are also lightweight, cheap, durable, and easily stack-able. If you are moving someone into college, these bags are apparently the gold standard. 

6. So many teens struggle with anxiety - often hidden from view. As a parent of kiddos with anxiety, it has still been shocking to me how common this mental health condition is among other teenagers and young adults. Often, teenagers appear to be highly successful on the surface, but have huge mental health struggles behind closed doors. 

5. It is difficult for students to make it through college without parental financial help. Even if a child is taking out loans, they often cannot fully fund themselves (because of maximum borrowing limits) without an additional parental loan. The cost of college has risen astronomically since I attended college myself, and, even with financial aid, cobbling together enough resources to afford college is very difficult for many students. 

4. College admissions are often a complete crap shoot. Being an "average excellent" student on paper is common (i.e., a student with near-perfect GPAs and test scores, leadership positions, and other extracurricular activities). Even for these "average excellent" students, which colleges grant them admissions is often random. It can be very difficult to predict where a student will be admitted. 

3. Many parents feel very lonely and lost when their kids leave for college. This sentiment is contrary to the image of happy empty-nesters who rejoice when their children leave home. I imagine many parents ultimately come around to a place of contentment, but the initial departure for college is difficult for many. 

2. Most teens no longer use top sheets. Another common theme is that the use of the top sheet in a bed seems to be going the way of the dinosaurs. No one is sure what is driving this change, but it is common for teenagers to sleep without a top sheet. 

1. Everyone loves their children fiercely. Above all, it is refreshing and encouraging to see just how strongly the love fellow parents have for their children shines through. Parents come from all walks and stripes of life, but the love they share for their offspring is universal. And ultimately, love wins.