Thirtysomething

I began my 30s as a newly minted PhD living with my husband and two children in Orlando, Florida. I was getting ready to embark on a series of job interviews with nine different universities scattered across the United States. I was anxious about the future, anxious about launching my career, anxious about the trajectory of our family. 

I am 39 years old. When I turn 40 this summer, I will celebrate my 21st wedding university, live in Manhattan, Kansas, and work as an endowed full professor at my alma mater. The next 10, 20, 30 years have a familiar rhythm to them. Our kids will grow up and fly the nest. I have advanced as far up the career ladder as I can at my current university, and will probably continue to teach and research and perform service in a similar capacity. The path set in my 30s seems continuous until retirement. 

While my 20s were a decade of growth, newness, discovery, my 30s have been a decade of stability, steadiness, contentment. In my 20s, I became a mother of two babies and young children. In my 30s, I learned what it was like to be a mom of older kids. In my 20s, I was singularly focused on my career and my family. In my 30s, I expanded my reach, becoming involved in my church, kids' schools, community in a way I would have thought I had no time for in an earlier decade. In my 30s, I learned that I will never have more available time in my life, and that if something is important, I need to devote resources to make it happen now.

My body has changed in my 30s. I was a thin person most of my life, but have now found my weight set point is at a much higher weight. I had glasses and long hair until recently, but now have a pixie cut and have had surgical remediation so that my uncorrected vision is perfect. My hair has turned gray overnight and I now regularly color it at a salon. I never broke a bone until two years ago. Now, I have had three fractures, each of which has been painfully slow to heal.

My 20s were the most formative years of my life. My 30s have been the most stable. My whole life has been preparing me for my 30s, and my current life choices have set up a solid future trajectory. It is nowhere as glamorous as the constant changes of earlier decades. But my 30s have brought me peace, happiness, friendships, connections, and contentment that are only possible in times of stability. And I hope the next decades of my life can be just as fulfilling.