Coachable

A meme I have seen often reads: "Your child's success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are. But having an athlete that is coachable, respectful, a great teammate, mentally tough, resilient, and tries their best IS a direct reflection of your parenting."

On the one hand, I love this quote. I love the fact it emphasizes character rather than ability. I love all the values embodied - respect, resiliency, effort.

On the other hand, this quote makes me feel like I have failed as a parent. Neither of my children is particularly resilient. I would not use "mentally tough" to describe either. I think both have room to improve in being more coachable.

But then I wonder, how much of that is due to my own actions, and how much of it is due to their inherent nature? I am not particularly resilient or mentally tough myself. Did I teach my children to have those deficits? Or did they already have a natural proclivity toward these tendencies?

And this begs a bigger question - how much credit - or blame - do parents deserve? If our kids are amazing adults, is this due to our success as a parent? If our kids are abject failures, should our own feet be held to the fire as parents?

I think I am a very average parent. I have many deficits, but I care and I try hard. In the end, though, I think my children are who they are - and it is my job to guide them as best I can. Their deficits may be a direct reflection on me as a parent, but I will have to live with the fact that I - and everyone else - am doing the best I can.