Parenting Progression

[Photo Credit: Amy Meng Photography]

I am compiling all of my prior blog posts on parenting into some form of a book. What is fascinating  is how so much of what I wrote in 2008, 2013, you name it, is still very much applicable today.

One theme weaves through like a ribbon among all others: Worry. I worried about whether my children were meeting appropriate milestones. Worried about whether a child was on the autism spectrum. Worried about social interactions. Worried about whether a child would ever learn to read. Worried about if we were doing enough activities, or too many activities. Worried about events in the past. Worried about possibilities in the future that may never come to fruition.

Reading back over those past worries, so many of them seem ridiculous. Others seem like relics of a different era. But in some, I wondered why I worried so much about a particular area - but then never addressed the worry with a professional. My worrying seemed to be simultaneously groundless and incapable of resulting in any kinds of changes. It's as if I were stuck in my seat, worried about an impending fire, but refusing to evacuate the building.

A second theme pops up: Tone. My earlier blog entries were snarky, witty, tongue-in-cheek. My later blog entries have become more earnest, melodramatic, introspective. It's almost hard to believe all were written by the same person, and it will probably be difficult to meld into a single cohesive narrative. But I think as I have shifted from my late-20s to my almost-40s, my tone and outlook have shifted. I have much less shame in writing about who I am and what I am feeling and do not feel the urge to hide behind snark, even if such thoughts were probably best relegated to a journal rather than shared with the world.

A third and final theme emerges: Gratitude. My gratitude for having documented these emotions and feelings is high. I know many parents of older children will joke no one should write a parenting book until all the writer's children have grown and flown the nest. But I think that is a mistake. For reading back over these thoughts when my children were younger pulls me in to an era I am incapable of accessing through stored memories alone. And I think only reflecting at parenting through the lens of time means that the immediacy and rawness of the moment are stripped away.

I absolutely love seeing how my thoughts on parenting have progressed. And, while it would probably be better for my career if I devoted extra time into working on job-related duties, what a joy it is to work on this project.