Parenting Mistakes I've Made So You Don't Have To

I was out of town this weekend, which gives me all kinds of time to think (and write, apparently), and was thinking that it would be great if I could learn from all the parenting mistakes I've made without, you know, having to make mistakes. Clearly this is a ridiculous idea, but it did have me thinking about parenting mistakes I've made along the way and what I've learned. Such as....

10. Bringing back a present for the kids on every out-of-town trip. Or, hypothetically, a stuffed animal. There's no going back now, sister.

9. Not carrying my daughter more. This is something that my husband totally had the right idea about, that the time we can pick our kids up and carry them around is finite, and to enjoy it while we can. I was in such a rush for my daughter to be more and more independent that I felt a huge sense of loss the day she was too big to carry, because You Can Never Go Back. 

8. Being too embarrassed to seek help earlier. And if we are really being honest, worried about finances. I had concerns that my daughter had sensory issues from the time she was very young, but was so scared about being judged ace viewed as a failure that I never actively sought help - and insurance coverage while we were PhD students was so abysmal that I worried about the financial element. It wasn't until we moved to Manhattan and brought the issue up with our super awesome family doctor that our daughter started receiving occupational therapy - which made a world of difference, but probably should have been started years ago. 

7. Not involving our kids in our interests when they were younger - like running races or going to football games. We had the attitude that it would be easier to involve the kids when they were older, but I think involving them in activities that are part of the fabric of the family at a young age might have been better in the long term. Or maybe not - but I wish I had tried, instead of assuming that it wasn't worth it. 

6. Insisting they try organized activities at a young age. At the same time, I think I pushed too hard for organized activities when they were young. Especially with our daughter - that way, she could be burned out on soccer at the ripe old age of 4. 

5. Utterly failing at nutrition. Oh my goodness! Our daughter had many problems, but I could have done a better job for both kids Especially the 12-24 month age when supposedly tastes are formed, which was in the midst of beginning a PhD program with our first and trying to finish and interview with our second. Life was so crazy that we just tried to get through the day, which usually meant giving up on vegetables or fixing the kids their own food. We are still trying to do better, honestly...

4. Choosing a daycare based on glitz and organization -  When we first needed daycare, we judged the child care facilities on the totally wrong characteristics. Were the people organized when trying to schedule a tour? (As it turns out, we have found that the best daycares are much more focused on carrying for their present kids than trying to woo potential people). Did they have immediate openings? (Again, the best ones have a waiting list.) Did the rooms look shiny and clean? (Not a bad quality, but warm and nurturing are much more important). We are now daycare-pros based on 9 years of full-time childcare or after-school care, and have found that the quality of the program is usually inversely related to its glitz. 

3. Worrying too much about what other people think. Oh my goodness, ALL THE TIME. This was no more apparent than times I overreacted harshly because others were around and I was embarrassed.                                

2. Being too tied in to advice in books. Or better yet, random people on random comment threads on the Internet. Or lists like this. ;) Our 10-year-old asked us why I read parenting books. I told her that it was to learn how to be a better parent, and she replied that that didn't make sense, because we were already good parents. I should have adopted this mentality years ago. 

1. Thinking smugly that my kids "would never do that." We all know that in horror movies when the heroine decides to go upstairs, alone, to investigate a noise upstairs, that it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. Well. The same thing is also true of any statements, such as, "My kids would NEVER do that." Uttering such a prediction out loud is enough to ensure that OH YES, THEY WILL.

What mistakes have you made in different stages of your life?