Everything At Once

As sly as a fox, as strong as an ox
As fast as a hare, as brave as a bear
As free as a bird, as neat as a word
As quiet as a mouse, as big as a house

All I wanna be, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything

As mean as a wolf, as sharp as a tooth
As deep as a bite, as dark as the night
As sweet as a song, as right as a wrong
As long as a road, as ugly as a toad

As pretty as a picture hanging from a fixture
Strong like a family, strong as I wanna be
Bright as day, as light as play
As hard as nails, as grand as a whale

All I wanna be oh, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once
Everything at once, oh
Everything at once

As warm as the sun, as silly as fun
As cool as a tree, as scary as the sea
As hot as fire, cold as ice
Sweet as sugar and everything nice

As old as time, as straight as a line
As royal as a queen, as buzzed as a bee
As stealth as a tiger, smooth as a glider
Pure as a melody, pure as I wanna be

All I wanna be oh, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once

I absolutely love this song by Lenka. First reason is because it is well, Lenka, and she has a beautiful voice. And the second reason is whenever I heard this song, I think, “ME TOO!!” I feel like my whole goal in life has been to BE EVERYTHING AT ONCE!!!

So many of my life choices have been about finding ways to be everything, all at once. Will and I somehow found a way to both go back to school to get our PhDs at the same time with a one-year-old daughter in tow at the beginning of our journey. Three years later, when the crappy student health insurance suddenly magically covered maternity benefits, we managed to have another baby. We disagree over who had it rougher following the birth of our son (clearly, it was me, ME! J) but are united in the thought that the following year was the most stressful of our lives. And a year later, we somehow managed to find a solution to The Two-Body Problem of academia and both find great jobs at our alma mater, but also had the distinct privilege of being two people who are each very career focused with two young children who, well, we love and enjoy spending time with.  

So I feel like my life has been devoted to trying to be EVERYTHING AT ONCE to everyone. And although I am such an Undomestic Goddess, I still want to achieve at everything that I *do* do. My goals when starting at our new jobs were simple: 1. Make Tenure and 2. Take Care of My Family (and not necessarily in that order!). But then somehow it changed to also include, 3. Serve on Every Volunteer Organization Possible, and 4. Become an Awesome Runner, and 5. Make the Kids Participate in Every Activity that they Can (even though they don’t really like activities), and, and, and…

It is EXHAUSTING trying to do and be everything at once. And I don’t have any easy solution for how to stop, but I do know that I want to, and just be able to enjoy life without feeling like I am on this constant hamster wheel.

Have you ever felt that you had to be “everything at once”? How did you stop?