Burnout

I read a fabulous article today from Buzzfeed on burnout. The article is written about older Millennials, but I think is just as indicative of modern life. One of the many nuggets which stood out from the article was that the new norm for parenting in our society is very structured, intentional, intensive.

I have mulled over summer plans for my children, which seems ridiculous since summer is still months away, yet applications for some high school camps and opportunities for my high school daughter are closing soon. My husband will not be teaching this summer and will be home with the kids. My daughter will be between her freshman and sophomore year in high school, young enough not to work at most jobs, old enough to have aged out of most local activities. My son will be between 5th and 6th grade, able to take part in the local STEM program, but whose interest has outgrown many other local camp options.

More than anything, my children want to have downtime this summer. They want to read books, swim in our backyard swimming pool, stay up late, sleep in, enter art work in the county fair, live at a relaxed pace. They do not want to take online courses. They do not want to travel to camps across the state devoted to specific interests. They do not want to hone their leadership skills. They want to have a 1980s summer. But 1980s summers feel like a bygone era.

I was born in 1979, which my husband jokes makes me "almost a Millennial." But I had very relaxed summers. When I was my son's age, we had just moved three times in 5th grade, including across the country and back again. I literally have zero memories of what we did that entire summer. When I was my daughter's age, I took a high school government course and volunteered at the library, but I do not think I took part in any other activities. And I was a child who loved organized activities and probably was more involved than many other peers my age.

So why do I feel hesitation over allowing my children to have the very summer I enjoyed myself? Part of my guilt is that my children do not participate in many organized activities during the school year, either, at least compared to what is average. My high school daughter is involved in a church youth group and 4-H, but has no other regular commitments at the moment. My son has those same activities and also takes a pottery class, saxophone lessons, and plays parks & rec soccer, but even his schedule feels much lighter compared to many contemporaries. If summer is meant to be a break, I feel guilt over my kids taking a break from a schedule that is not terribly taxing.

But then I circle back to the Buzzfeed article and its notions of ever-present burnout. Could the reason so much of modern life feel ripe with burnout be because our whole lives have become structured, planned, regimented? Might living our days at a slower pace lead to more self-awareness, self-direction, self-control? Do our children really need to be on the Rat Race treadmill to live fulfilled lives? I think there is value in emptiness. And I think our children will likely end up having a very 1980s summer.