I was thinking today about how we can change over time, but our old labels and visualizations of ourselves remain stuck in time. Here are 10 examples of attitudes or behaviors or characteristics that can be found in the Graveyard of my Former Self:
10. Be On Time or Early - I am going to blame this on living in Florida, where a seminar at 9 a.m. meant "at 9 a.m., everyone should think about maybe start heading to the other building." And it is probably unfair to blame at on Florida, because I have lived in Kansas again for much longer where everyone is always early and yet I am still late now sometimes....
9. Send Handwritten Thank You Notes - Oh gosh, I used to be good at this. SO good at this. I am now such a terrible thank-you note-writer that there was a long stretch of years where, I am ashamed to say, no one got thanked in writing. I do all right with e-mail but I still absolutely stink at handwritten thank you notes. For everyone I have neglected to thank, please know how much you are still appreciated!
8. Rely on Books for Answers - When I first had children, I was going to be the Best Parent Ever because I was going to Read All of the Right Books. Um. Yeah. I haven't given up reading parenting books, but I have lowered my standards to thinking that if I just learn one new nugget of wisdom, the book was a success.
7. Weigh Too Little to Donate Blood - This is a classic example of how your body image at one point in time can get stuck. I still have it in my mind that I can't donate blood because I don't weigh enough, even though that hasn't been the case for, oh, forever. I think my mind is holding on to this ridiculous excuse because it sounds much better than admitting that my fear is, "Maybe the phlebotomist is secretly a vampire and he is going to drain all of my blood! All of it!!"
6. Play the Violin and Piano - I still think of myself as a violin player, but I have seriously not touched my violin since high school. And the piano. Oh, the piano! We bought a real actual piano when we moved to Manhattan that I love with all of my being...and yet it seems like I rarely make time to play.
5. Cook Meals - I keep telling Will that I really, truly used to cook home-cooked meals when I was in middle and high school. I promise. Unfortunately, after 20+ years of no evidence of this statement, he has quit believing me. :)
4. Be Super Shy - I was very shy growing up. I still think of myself as shy, but really I think that is something that I have slowly shed over time, and that being an "introvert" isn't really the same as being "shy" anymore.
3. Eat Super Healthy - I was a unique child of the 1980s, with parents who were so healthy that they were anti-trans fats (aka partially hydrogenated soybean oil) before trans fats even had a name. My typical lunch to school for 13 years was an apple, a peanut butter sandwich with natural peanut butter in which all of the oil had been drained out, and a vegetable pack with carrots, green peppers, and cucumbers. I definitely eat worse now...while society as a whole has definitely gotten much more health conscious.
2. Be Cheap - my nickname for a long time was The Frugal Shopper. Will and I had a budget and boy, did we ever stick to it. I would sometimes hyperventilate if we had to spend money. This is another label that really no longer applies now - I buy expensive over-priced hot chocolates regularly, go out to eat way too much, and spend an amount at the grocery store that would make my former self faint.
1. Be Super Judgmental - this is the area that I think I have come the farthest in - some from getting older, some from becoming a parent (most.humbling.job.ever). For me at least, but pre-children, oh my goodness, was I judgmental. This is something that I hope to continue becoming even better with in time, but there is nothing like being in a mortifying situation to realize that Everyone is Winging It and is just trying the best they can.
What about you? What would you find in the Graveyard of Your Former Self, good or bad?
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