The first weekend, Annika and I and Will/Daniel each ended up heading to Kansas City - albeit in different hotels and vehicles, to maximize the individual bonding time. Annika and I enjoyed pedicures, shopping on the Plaza, a movie, the Toy and Miniature Museum, and Schlitterbahn water park. Will and Daniel enjoyed Legoland, (the same) movie, and . . . Schlitterbahn. We ended up seeing each other at Schlitterbahn and had lunch as a family. ;)
This weekend, we truly went our separate ways. Daniel and I headed to Hutchinson, KS, where we stayed at an exotic animal farm bed and breakfast just outside in Nickerson; other highlights included the salt mine tour and a visit to the Cosmosphere. Annika and Will headed all the way to St. Louis! Their main objective was to visit the City Museum, but they also visited a giant puzzle warehouse and watched a movie.
We have all had a great time and think that this one-on-one time was a great investment, but there are several things that we learned. Such as:
7. Don't expect a complete heart-to-heart. I think my expectations were probably too high, because I figured with this much one-on-one time all weekend long, my children would be forced to share all kinds of intimate details about their thoughts and feelings. Well. As it turns out, they can talk about Warriors and/or Minecraft for hours on end - no intimate sharing necessary. ;)
6. Our kids are delightful. Seriously, I don't know if it was the one-on-one time or the fact that we were doing activities of interest to the kids, but I can't remember the last time that each of them was so delightful, pleasant, and happy. Both of them were actually humming at different points in time, which is extremely rare.
5. It's a "trip" for us, but a "vacation" to the kids. There is a hilarious article going around now about the difference between a "trip" (essentially with kids) and a "vacation" (someplace where you go to relax, typically without kids). I kept thinking in my mind that we were on a trip with the kids, and would be thrown off when they would say things like, "We're on vacation!!" It also reminded me that "vacation" is a frame of mind and it doesn't really matter where you go or what you do.
4. Our kids are full of surprises. Annika has long had sensory issues and isn't interested in fashion at all, so I was shocked when she not only requested to have a pedicure, but liked it so much that she now wants to have a manicure sometime. Daniel utterly abhors having his picture taken . . . but on these trips, was actually begging at times to pose. Go figure.
3. It's not about you. I had to remember that this was a "trip" for me rather than a "vacation" today, when I found myself frustrated that Daniel wanted to zip on through the Cosmosphere museum while I wanted to savor every word. This was about bonding with my son, not with learning all of the details of the Cold War-era space race. ;)
2. Our kids have a better idea of what they want to do than I do. Several activities that I thought the kids would love - the Toy and Miniature Museum for Annika, the Cosmosphere for Daniel - they did enjoy, but what they really loved was what they had requested to do - in my own case, Schlitterbahn for Annika and the Salt Mine Tour for Daniel.
1. Time is currency. I really felt much more connected and in-tune with the kids after all of our time together, despite the lack of a magical cure-all imagined in point #7. ;) These years are flying by so quickly and I am so thankful that we had this chance to bond. I hope we can make it a new annual tradition!
7. Don't expect a complete heart-to-heart. I think my expectations were probably too high, because I figured with this much one-on-one time all weekend long, my children would be forced to share all kinds of intimate details about their thoughts and feelings. Well. As it turns out, they can talk about Warriors and/or Minecraft for hours on end - no intimate sharing necessary. ;)
6. Our kids are delightful. Seriously, I don't know if it was the one-on-one time or the fact that we were doing activities of interest to the kids, but I can't remember the last time that each of them was so delightful, pleasant, and happy. Both of them were actually humming at different points in time, which is extremely rare.
5. It's a "trip" for us, but a "vacation" to the kids. There is a hilarious article going around now about the difference between a "trip" (essentially with kids) and a "vacation" (someplace where you go to relax, typically without kids). I kept thinking in my mind that we were on a trip with the kids, and would be thrown off when they would say things like, "We're on vacation!!" It also reminded me that "vacation" is a frame of mind and it doesn't really matter where you go or what you do.
4. Our kids are full of surprises. Annika has long had sensory issues and isn't interested in fashion at all, so I was shocked when she not only requested to have a pedicure, but liked it so much that she now wants to have a manicure sometime. Daniel utterly abhors having his picture taken . . . but on these trips, was actually begging at times to pose. Go figure.
3. It's not about you. I had to remember that this was a "trip" for me rather than a "vacation" today, when I found myself frustrated that Daniel wanted to zip on through the Cosmosphere museum while I wanted to savor every word. This was about bonding with my son, not with learning all of the details of the Cold War-era space race. ;)
2. Our kids have a better idea of what they want to do than I do. Several activities that I thought the kids would love - the Toy and Miniature Museum for Annika, the Cosmosphere for Daniel - they did enjoy, but what they really loved was what they had requested to do - in my own case, Schlitterbahn for Annika and the Salt Mine Tour for Daniel.
1. Time is currency. I really felt much more connected and in-tune with the kids after all of our time together, despite the lack of a magical cure-all imagined in point #7. ;) These years are flying by so quickly and I am so thankful that we had this chance to bond. I hope we can make it a new annual tradition!
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