My Kids Will Never And Yet They Did

I was a really excellent mom before I had children, and had so many ideas about what our imaginary hypothetical children would never, ever do. And even after I became a parent, I naively continued to harbor ideas of what would "never" happen with my kids. I therefore present 10 (non-inclusive) examples of things I said My Kids Will Never Do and Yet They Did. 

10. Throw in a Tantrum in a Store 

I remember being newly pregnant with my daughter and seeing a two-year-old screaming in a store, and smugly thinking that my child would "never "do that, because I clearly I would talk and reason with them and they would instantly understand there was no need to scream and never do it again. Yes. I was clearly delusional. 

9. Quit in the Middle of an Activity 

One of the many supposed advantages of organized activities for children is that it encourages them to learn perseverance and to stick with things when the going gets tough. Clearly, quitting in the middle of an activity undermines the whole point. But when your kindergarten daughter decides in the middle of the year that she hates dance and decides to sit in the corner and watch the entire time instead . . . well, you could quit and buy Disney World season passes for the whole family with the money that you saved from quitting dance. Hypothetically speaking. 

8. Have a Child Who Doesn't Like to Read

Oh my goodness, this is my current dose of humility. Both of our children have been read to since they were a fetus, exposed to books in all shapes and forms, snuggled up with and read to at night for years, and still . . . I have one child who loves to read, and one child who despises it. I do not know why. But that all of my theories about how to ensure that a child will love being an independent reader have been proven wrong. ;) 

7. Live in an Apartment 

My husband and I bought a house in the Kansas City area right before I was pregnant with our daughter. This was very important because I would never, ever, ever rent (the horror!) an apartment with a hypothetical child. In fact, we were never going to ever sell our house in Kansas City, so we locked in a 30-year mortgage rate rather than a much cheaper 5-year ARM (this is back when ARMs were still sexy). Less than two years later, we sold the house....to go live in an apartment. With our child. In Florida.

6. Go to Daycare as a Baby

After my daughter was born, I suddenly developed strong opinions on child-rearing and sort of fell into the "Attachment Parenting Light" camp. It was super important to me that I as the mom be at home. And yet, one year later, my daughter went from always having been with either me or a grandparent, to being in full-time daycare in Florida. And when our son was born, he started full-time daycare at the ripe old age of 4 months.

5. Have a Sibling More Than 2 Years Apart 

My sister  and I are really close and I always wished we could have been closer together grade-wise in school (we were 3 years apart most of our time in school but were only 2 years apart after she skipped a grade into high school). I had the great plan that our kids would be no more than 2 years apart so that they would be guaranteed to be Best Buds. Both my husband and I starting a PhD program kind of put a crimp into that plan. ;) The good news is that our children are 4 years apart and opposite genders, and still seem to get along well at least some of the time. 

4. Drink Formula 

I was kind of ambivalent about breastfeeding or formula feeding before my daughter was born, but quickly discovered that I absolutely love breastfeeding. So much so that it makes me kind of crazy. (One time, I was late coming home, and my daughter was hungry and screaming, but I was adamant to my husband that she not have formula while he waited. That kind of crazy.) So clearly a dose of reality was in order - which came when my son was born and he could not nurse for close to 24 hours, and drank formula in the hospital. And as it turns out, this is 110% okay. 

3. Wean a Child

My daughter decided to stop nursing at 20 months, and it was such a gradual process that it took me a couple of weeks to eventually realize that she had given up nursing. My son, on the other hand, was still going strong at 2 years old and seemed to be nursing with more frequency as he got older. I decided that maybe it wasn't time for him to wean, but it was time for me. And that was also okay. 

2. Eat Separate Meals 

This encompasses all of the sins of modern parenting. Laziness! Poor eating habits! Crappy parenting! My husband and I have eaten kale chips, salad, and flax seed this week. The kids have . . . not. For a mom like me who was so crazy obsessed with breastfeeding, the irony is thick. 

1. Never Say Never!

I truly think that parenting has been one of the most humbling and grounding experiences for me as a person, ever. And yet I still find myself with "never" statements floating through my head at times - particularly those involving the teenage or adult years, before I realize that this is ridiculous because who knows what the future can hold. So if I have learned anything through parenting, it is that Never Say Never should truly be a motto that is tattooed upon every surface. 

What areas of parenting or life have you claimed that you would "never" do something?