We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all have gone.*
like the seasons, all have gone.*
*This song, "Seasons in the Sun," by Terry Jacks, has absolutely nothing to do with the end of summer. But I think that it should. :)
School has started for the children, which means that extracurricular activities have also started or are right around the corner.
I posted last month (here) that I felt a lot of pressure to enroll my children in all kinds of activities, even though they don't really like activities. It is also kind of ridiculous because they are both go to the after-school program every day until about 5:30 p.m. (which is full of "clubs" with things like "sewing, "what's inside the earth?" and so forth). So why all of this pressure?
1. Everyone Else is Doing It
Have I mentioned that I am such a lemming? Sometimes this is helpful, like getting on the running bandwagon. Most of the time it is not. I see a lot of families and kids that look like they are really well-adjusted and I want to emulate that, so I tend to think, well, if their kids are doing a lot of activities and are turning out great, then our kids should, too. Such a bad cycle.
2. I Thought My Kids "Should" Like Activities
I have heard many people say that they always swore they would never be the type of person who shuttled their kids all over to various activities, but here they are. Not me! I always thought I would be the mom shuttling my kids to all kinds of activities. Sure, there are all kinds of academic articles by actual credentialed psychologists talking about how the lack of free time is killing our children, but the pop-culture parenting message has the implicit assumption that Good Parents Make Their Children Participate in All Kinds of Activities!
3. *I* Always Wanted to Do More Activities
This is probably the real reason behind my obsession....I keenly remember as a child not being able to do every activity that I wanted so that our family had a chance at having a sane schedule (which, Mom and Dad, as a parent now I now 110% understand and endorse!). So I signed Daniel up for swimming lessons when he was a baby....enrolled Annika in Kindermusik and Gymboree classes when she was 8 months old....obsessively tracked all kinds of different websites to see what activities we could make work with our schedule.
But do you know what? Our kids would rather just play at home any day of the week. Daniel loved camp but he is so excited about the idea of one day, staying home all day and being able to play with his Magna-Tiles!! Annika would be happy if she could stay home every single day and just draw pictures all day long.
I feel that we have a very manageable schedule this year for activities.
Both children - taking swimming lessons and doing church activities, all at the same time.
Daniel - taking a weekly gymnastics class.
Annika - involved in 4-H (once a month) and Girl Scouts (twice a month), and might pick up a pottery or art class.
Just writing that down, I feel an immense sense of relief that we actually have a chance of being a sane, balanced family this year....and the kids might still have a chance to do what they love best: Just Hanging Out at Home.
4 comments:
I LOVED my free time as a kid. The few activities I had were those I signed up for myself. I probably would have resented my mother directing my free time. BUT, and this is important, there were kids everywhere; we all played outside in the street or at the school grounds, or at someone's house. No one had to arrange it for us. Different world today. You don't want to raise hermits, but they also need time to discover themselves. I'm sure they'll enjoy some free-time and am glad you discovered they like it. Don't think that you're not supporting them by not taking them everywhere imaginable. Your two have already seen and done more in these few years than most people in a lifetime. You and they will not only be fine, you'll be happy. :-)
Aww, thanks for the nice note, Dad! We wish that it was so much easier now for kids to just run around outside and play, too. We have accepted that we do need to schedule/arrange playdates since kids are unlikely to just run into other kids when they are playing outside, but once they are over it is really nice that they can just run around together.
Annika last night said she wanted to drop Girl Scouts because it was too much. I did say that we had already made the commitment for the year. :) I am confident we will all be happy once we are back in a routine. :)
Terry Jack? Huh. The version I remember was sung by Rod McKuen, who was a schmaltzy poet/songwriter with a gravely voice, popular in the late 1960s. This was released by him on an album perhaps around 1968. It's even in my Rod McKuen songbook from that era. Wikipedia reports that the English version is a translation by McKuen in the early 1960s of a French writer's song.
Dad, I bet you are correct! I just goggled the lyrics and the site where I found them listed Terry Jack. I bet you are right. The version I am thinking of is super schmaltzy so I bet Rod McKuen. :) It still makes me think of summer. :)
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