One of my largest job responsibilities is research. Research takes an inordinate amount of time from conception to ultimate publication, and I often seem to take even longer than the average. But daily, this activity is the easiest to ignore. Other job responsibilities are more pressing - lecturing, meeting with students, writing reviews, editorial responsibilities, committee work. Research is the currency of academia but the most challenging to squeeze in.
Similarly, the most important relationship in my life is my family. My husband and two kids are the moon and sun in my world. I would take a bullet for them. But my family often sees the worst side of me. Around others, I am usually pleasant, compassionate, reasonable. Around my family, I can be ill-tempered, judgmental, emotional. My family is who will be with me in times of crisis, but I often put less work in investing in our relationships. Family is the most important part of my life but where I am the most complacent.
This has me thinking of helpful advice I heard years ago: Don't abandon the core. At work, at home, in the community, figure out core values and activities and structure your life around those. This advice is simple and powerful - and also difficult to carry out amid chaos. When I have many deadlines, I will easily put aside a research task that would move a project forward but has no immediate due date. When I need to manage household logistics, focusing on bigger-picture concerns is easy for me to push aside.
Chaos will not disappear. Life will continue at a breathtaking space. But I hope I can focus more on identifying the core and building a life around that.
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