Fame

I am a mostly unknown person who lives in a bubble. I live in a small town. I go to work. I teach my classes. I write research papers few people read. I write blogs more people read, but my audience is almost entirely those I know well in real life. I have never experienced fame.

But a while back, I got a tiny taste of what it might be like to live in the public spotlight. I am in a very large Facebook parenting group. I wrote a post that took me about 5 minutes to write and had zero forethought. But it apparently resonated with this group, as I received dozens and then hundreds and then thousands of comments and messages. Then the administrators of this group asked if they could post it on their public page, which I agreed to without thinking through the ramifications. The public post was shared hundreds of times and had a similarly high-volume of reactions.

Here is the thing: It feels good to write something engaging to others, that is well-received, that resonates. But it was overwhelming just how popular this post would become, and I was not prepared to handle all the comments and feedback. I pride myself on being someone who reads all comments and responds to all questions relating to something I post online, but I logistically could not do so. The notifications on my account could not keep up, and the constant buzzing of notifications and messages and alerts increased my anxiety.

Nearly all the comments and reactions were kind and supportive. But a tiny minority was somewhat mocking. And it was those mocking ones I focused in on. These were from people who had no idea who I was, who had never interacted with me, and whose opinion I should undoubtedly not care about one bit. But I did care. I did not allow myself to read the comments on the public post, but I could tell that despite the overwhelmingly positive responses, a few reactions were unfavorable.

This whole experience was even more uncomfortable on my end because I regretted some of what I had said, or at least wished I had worded my post differently. Even in this blog entry, talking about the whole incident, I am not comfortable sharing the original post itself because I worry about how I wrote part of it and wished I had used written it differently. But you cannot un-ring a bell, and, unlike my own posts I write on my page, it is impossible to edit something of this magnitude, particularly when it is posted on a public page I do not administer.

But I am grateful for what I have learned. Some of it is obvious: Imagine anything you write online as being published not only in your local newspaper, but in every newspaper across the country, read by everyone you could encounter. Is there anything you would say differently in that instance? That is how you should then word anything you write online. But some if it was less obvious: I am very uncomfortable with any degree of fame or being discussed by people I do not know. This surprised me, because I love to write and one of the primary goals of being a writer is to have readers. But I have not yet mentally or emotionally steeled myself for what happens when something you write goes viral on even a tiny scale.

After having a tiny taste of what life is like when you leave your cocooned bubble, I am even more steadfast in my resolve to treat everyone online with as much respect as possible. Because behind every post, somewhere, somehow, is a real-life person.