Beauty

When my children were younger, they both had bleach-blonde hair. This was quite shocking to strangers, given that they had two brunette parents, and people were often likely to comment on their physical appearance. This was especially true for my daughter, who never cut her hair during her first five years of life and had hair down to her waist. I was not particularly striking as a child and it was such a new experience to hear strangers come up and talk about our child's appearance. 

Fast forward to today, where our daughter is 12 years old. This summer, before starting middle school, she decided to cut off her hair and go for a pixie cut. She has been wanting to cut her hair short for a long time, both to experiment with something new (trying new things!), as well as to make it easier to care for (practicality!). She is not always comfortable with new experiences and I have been proud of her for branching outside of her comfort zone. 

Tonight, my daughter asked me to post a poll on my Facebook page, to which I readily agreed, because if there is one thing I love, it's posting polls. ;) But her question took me by surprise - she wanted me to ask people if she thought she looked better with short or long hair so she could decide whether to keep her hair short or start growing it out. I prepared a collage for her with pictures of the two looks and then started feeling uneasy. Am I communicating a message that beauty is only validated through the opinions of others? Should you rely on others' opinions when making a decision about your hair? Is this setting her up for a lifetime of second-guessing her own intuition about her physical appearance? 

So I am not posting such a poll. Instead, I hope my daughter learns that she is so much more than her physical appearance. That she is funny and creative and quirky and wonderful, and created by God to be like no one else on earth. That she is beautiful because of her smile and her personality and her spirit, not because of her hair. That she is loved regardless of whether she keeps her hair short or grows it out. That she is beautiful, inside and out. And that she should continue to rock whichever hairstyle brings her the most inner joy.