10 Other Ways I am "Failing" Adulthood

My friend Carey posted a very funny article from Huffington Post titled, "10 Ways I am Failing Adulthood" (click here for the article). Here, the author details ways in which she displays complete incompetence at adulthood, including not changing sheets often enough (guilty), being unable to change a tire (guilty), and forgetting to trim her children's finger and toenails (also guilty). I particularly love this sentence: "When I look back on the efficient, well-oiled machine that was my childhood household, I don't remember as much chaos, scrambling, and disorder."

Chaos, scrambling, and disorder are perfect words to describe our household. Part of it is that Will and I both work full-time in fairly demanding (albeit flexible) jobs, part of it is that I think our family is just taking on too much between activities and school and church and life, but part of it is just that, well, I am not so good at certain elements of adulthood. In addition to the excellent points in the aforementioned article, here are 10 more ways that I am failing adulthood:

10. Home Improvements – I did not know until yesterday (!!) that you could not just purchase colored paint for interior walls off the shelf from a store, but that you instead had to find someone and have the paint actually mixed. I know nothing about flooring. Or cabinets. Or tiles. Even after adding a patio last summer and new floors this spring (both of which we hired out), I feel like I am going to hyperventilate anytime I enter Home Depot again.

9. Under-bathed children – Oh yes, still a thing at our house. I remember taking a bath every night as a child. Every. Night. Now, when we told the kids that they needed to take a bath, they protested, “But it’s only been 2 days?!?” Yes. I can see why there would be confusion.

8. Lack of Decorations –  We have almost no artwork or other interior decorations in our home, unless you count the taped-up pictures of children’s artwork in the kitchen. How do people manage to acquire such tasteful, elegant, matching pieces of home decor? It remains a mystery. 

7. Non-Matching Towels. Our towels have never matched. This might be because I am way too frugal (read: cheap) to ever throw out and/or replace any of our towels, though….

6. No Camping Skills. I can’t start a fire, I can’t pitch a tent, and I would not count on me to be a successful navigator if you are trapped in the woods. This makes it less likely that I will survive a Zombie Apocalypse. In fact, in a Buzzfeed quiz, I am predicted to die within the first week of a Zombie Apocalypse.  

5. Lack of Meal Planning - I remember my mother making a menu every week of what we would eat for dinner, and sticking to it. I seem to be all gun-ho about meal planning at the beginning of a new semester, start slipping (read: still plan menus but fail to follow them), and then give up by the end of the semester. This time of year, it's either church dinner, a last minute trip to McAlister's, or peanut butter sandwiches for all. 

4. Forgetfulness with School Requirements - I am kind of embarrassed by this one, because not only do we love our school system and passionately believe that education is the single most important gift we have to offer our children, Will and I are both college professors ourselves. And yet - I can't seem to remember to sign my daughter's planner every night, I forget to check my son's backpack every night, and I even forget to pack lunch for my children and have to throw together random items like a partial bag of shredded cheese. Sorry, kids! 

3.No Make-Up - All of those no-make-up selfies that are being posted to raise cancer awareness? That is me, Every.Day. I am certain this is violating some important tenet of the Adult Creed, but I am too lazy to change. 

2. Laundry - I remember my mom having a very organized system where she would meticulously sort all of the dirty clothes each week, wash them in appropriate water temperatures, and make sure that members of the family got the items folded and put away in a timely fashion. In our house, it's a miracle if we even do laundry, and then it is all of dirty items mixed all together, washed on "normal," and then kept in the dryer for days on end. 

1. I Don't Get to Do Whatever I Want - this last one is tongue in cheek, but according to Daniel, adults never have to do anything they don't want to, because when you are an adult, you can do whatever you want all of the time. From his definition, I am most definitely failing adulthood. Better get on it!